How To Calm Down Nervous Clients

Chris Heller HeadshotChris Heller, Licensed Agent12/9/2021



Helping your clients to keep their emotions in check while selling their home or shopping for a new one will make your work easier as a real estate agent. But this is often tricky because real estate agents aren’t psychologists. 

However, there are several things you can do as an agent to help your clients stay calm throughout the entire real estate process. 

So, we asked several seasoned real estate experts about their various experiences in dealing with nervous clients and how they helped them stay calm during the deal.

Here’s what these experts had to say:

Muhammad Mateen Khan, a digital marketing Strategist at PureVPN, explains how to keep your emotions in check while house hunting. He mentioned three key things to focus on.

Mateena headshotKnow what you want

“If you’re buying a home right now, then you’re entering into a competitive market. You’ll likely be competing against other buyers for the same house. One way to calm your nerves is to know exactly what you’re looking for in a home.”

According to Trulia, 44% of Americans regret their current home or the process they went through when choosing it. 

“When you’re buying in a sellers’ market, you have to be decisive and act fast. When you know what you want, you’ll know when you’ve found it. You won’t have to agonize over whether you’re making the right decision, and you’ll be able to put in a competitive offer quickly.”

Understand the process

About 38% of first-time homebuyers said the whole process took much longer than they expected. Without a good knowledge of how the home buying process works and what is involved, buyers can quickly become nervous.

“Fear of the unknown can cause major stress for most people. That’s why educating yourself about the home buying process is key to eliminating anxiety. Become familiar with each of the steps that you’ll take to close on your home. Know the lingo,” said Khan.

“Look over all the documents, so you know exactly what you’re agreeing to. And don’t be afraid to ask questions. Lean on the experience of your agent and loved ones who have gone through the process before you.”


Work with a professional

According to Trulia, 22% of homebuyers wish they had more information before making a buying decision. In most cases, this is due to inadequate information about the home or the neighborhood. It could also be because the buyer didn’t work with a professional.

“The best way to help ease home buying anxiety is to work with a trusted real estate professional. An expert agent has been through the process countless times. They know the hurdles that need to be jumped through and obstacles that may cross your path during the way.”

“They can offer invaluable practical advice when you’re feeling conflicted or overly emotional. In the end, a good agent will make sure that you cross the finish line and feel good about the life-changing purchase you just made,” said Khan. 


Be honest with the clientpeter-gray headshot

Peter Gray, earned his real estate license decades ago and rose to become President of Pyramid Real Estate Group, offers a realistic solution to help clients stay calm throughout the home buying or selling process.

“To me, the only solution is to be radically honest, to get into the trenches with them, to understand where they are coming from and what has changed (if anything). Only then can I earn their trust and help them assess the situation. Sometimes, factors outside of their control have changed and they should abandon the sale.”


Help them weigh the pros and cons of each decision

“Other times, if they abandon the sale, they miss out on an important opportunity, and I will do my best to help them recover, but this opportunity may be their best option for various reasons. In those cases, often buyers and sellers (after weighing pros and cons) will come to the right conclusion,” said Gray. 

He said it is also crucial to help them understand the essence of time, even if it can add a little bit of pressure to the situation. 

“It is important to remind them that time kills deals. If they don’t want the deal, it’s perfectly fine, but if they do want it, it has an expiration date. 99% of the time, they do come to the right conclusion.”


Jeremy-Browne headshotPaying the right price for a property

Jeremy Browne, Senior Vice President of  TTR Sotheby’s International Realty, explains how some clients feel nervous over the price of a property they are considering. However, he says he’s found some ways they can overcome such emotional reactions.

According to a study by the New York Post, about 13% of homebuyers think they overpaid for their homes.

“The most common cause of client concern is presenting an offer on a property, especially in a situation with multiple offers. There are a few things that can help ease the anxiety,” said Browne.

According to him, solutions include:

  • Having a strong prequalification with the lender and understanding their payment amount, especially if they are willing to escalate the price with competing offers.
  • A good comparative market analysis can ease some concerns about offering too much for a home.
  • Try to get a feel for other motivations for sellers other than price. Things like closing date and rent backs can be significant and sway them to accept an offer.
  • If they are buying before they sell their home, have the listing ready to go ahead of time, with photos and entered as a draft in the MLS. This preparation causes less stress once their purchase offer is accepted. 


Help clients see the bigger picturegreg-Plantore headshot

About 26% of those with an annual household income of $100,000 or more – a level roughly 50% more than the median U.S. household income of $73,298 – believed they could not afford to buy a home in the current market. 

Greg Plantore of Expert Click revealed how he helps clients overcome nervousness by explaining the core benefits of homeownership through the big picture.  

“I usually deal more on a financial level with new buyers rather than an emotional one. When I am working with new buyers, I try to talk about the big picture of how I personally have built wealth through real estate investing in my own investing,” said Plantore.

“Then I discuss the current market conditions and as to real estate always increasing in value over time. I go into detail about how equity is created, taxes are saved, with the ability to move up to a larger better home over time through their gain of equity,” he said.  


tom-lowy headshotWalk through each stage with the client

More than one in five Americans, (21%), say a housing purchase mistake they made in the past is now holding them back from changing their current housing situation. 

The way out?

Tom Lowy of  Keller Williams Devon-Wayne explains how he helps homebuyers calm their nerves by walking them through each home buying stage.  

“That is a great question as many buyers do get nervous. I let them know we are in this together. We continually review the purchasing process helping them remain focused on their long-term goals. I review with them regularly their goals keeping them focused on the future.”

“I remind them that the steps they are taking now are part of the process. If they did not see themselves where they are heading, they would not have ventured this far down the road. Also, I remind them this purchase is not permanent and is reversible if their circumstances change. This purchase is a solid investment in their future, and it is a good thing,” recommended Lowy.


Communication is keyalex-prout headshot

Alex Prout, the Director of Sales for Sloan Realty Group, reveals how communication can easily calm the nerves of clients by reminding them of each process in the real estate deal.

“The absolute best way to keep client’s nerves at bay is to over-communicate everything you can about the process on the front end, and then deliver on those promises! Oftentimes clients need to be REMINDED more than they need to be TAUGHT,” said Prout.

“A quick check-in reminding them of the steps of the buying or selling process that they have completed and that have yet to be completed can mean the world for both their mindset and the relationship you build. It’s vital to establish yourself as both an expert and as an advocate who follows through,” Prout said.  


Sloyer HeadshotListen to your clients

Listening is rated as the most important communication skill, and it’s one of the core skills clients value in agents. If you pay attention to your clients’ wants and needs, perhaps you can understand what makes them so emotional and then help them out.

Joshua Sloyer, a Licensed Associate Real Estate Broker and Founder of The Joshua Sloyer Team at Compass, explains how listening can help clients keep their emotions in check.

“Usually, a good listening session will calm most people down. Clients want to be heard and understood, first and foremost. Leaning on the data, facts, and being honest is always the best approach. Maintaining an optimistic point of view, and having a vision for success, is key,” said Sloyer.

Jordana Saunders, a real estate agent with Triplemint, also emphasized the need for effective listening to help clients calm their nerves.  

jordana headshot“The very first action I take when clients are nervous is to listen. After I have let them voice all of their concerns I follow up one or two times asking if they have any other concerns. I really let them say all they need to say. After they’ve voiced everything, I communicate back to them what I heard them say in my own words.”

“I do this to make sure I really got what they said and meant. I have found that this helps clients process their own thoughts and intentions. When I voice what they’ve said, it often calms clients down because they know I truly understand them, and care about their concerns,” said Saunders.

“Another technique I always use is the data provided in a written or visual format. If I’m going to suggest a course of action as an agent, I want my clients to know I have done the research. Doing this for myself is a necessary part of real estate, but breaking it down for a client is an important key step. Sometimes clients may not like bad news, but it’s hard to argue with the best course of action when the numbers do the talking,” according to Saunders.


Try to understand why the client is nervous

carnahan headshotAre you aware that 1 in 3 Americans were reduced to tears while trying to buy their first home? This is how nervous some clients can get while buying a home. If you don’t understand exactly why a client is anxious, you may never be able to help them.

Michael Carnahan, realtor for RE/MAX First Choice explains how to handle clients’ nervousness for a seamless real estate deal.  

“The first thing I do is to try to figure out what is causing the client to be nervous, which can make it easier to help them to calm down. It might just be that they have a nervous personality, or it might be a specific concern that they have. If they are worried about something specific, then I do my best to provide information and explanation that can ease or eliminate that concern.”

“If it is simply their personality, then I try my best to be as calm and soothing as possible whenever I speak with them. I use a lower tone and slow my speech a bit, creating a more calm and welcoming environment.”

“As they become used to how I approach them or how I respond when they approach me, knowing that I will always have that calm and soothing demeanor, then they start to be much more calm in the situation, and they actually look forward to our conversations. Ultimately, when we are finished, the majority of my clients come back and say that it was a very stress-free or relaxed experience.”

Chris Heller Headshot

About the Author

Chris Heller brings 27 years of experience in real estate. Chris serves on the AgentAdvice Editorial Board and is the Chief Real Estate Officer at OJO Labs. Chris brings deep expertise having held influential industry positions including CEO of mellohome and former CEO of Keller Williams Realty International.

Last Updated: 12/9/2021



Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

User Review
    • star
    • star
    • star
    • star
    • star
    Your Rating